LIFE IN MORROWIND - DAY 2

I gave up on this diary yesterday. I just thought, what the hell. I felt it was completely useless... anything seemed useless. I gave in to despair.Today, everything is different.To start with, I woke up surprisingly refreshed. I've spent the night right here, in the Mages Guild hall, where they keep some spare beds for those members, who are too busy to go home for the night... or those who, like myself, have no home to go to. Sleep took me the moment I lay down last night - my brain just shut down. Apparently it needed a bit of a restart.

As I woke up, I no longer felt so scared. Yes, I am stuck in a different world, a strange and dangerous world. I have no idea how I got here, or whether I can ever get back. So, I need to try and make a living here. After all, I know quite a lot about this place.

And since I was already in the mages guild, I decided it only made sense that I tried to learn some magic. Unfortunately, any teaching in this guild costs money, and quite a lot according to the local standards. Well, I happened to know where to get a bit of a start up investment.

First, I went to deliver the package to Caius Cosades. In fact, I was quite curious to meet this iconic game character "in person". He did not disappoint. 

I had to make a detour to a local pub first, to get the directions to his house. This Balmora was both familiar and very strange - it certainly seemed a lot bigger than the one I remembered from the game. Even on the day before, on my way from the Silt Strider to the Mages guild, I had gotten lost a few times and had had to ask for directions. 

Finally, I found the house of Caius. His place was a total mess. The game tried to convey this idea, for sure, but the reality was way worse than I could have expected. It looked terrible and it smelled worse. Caius himself was no better - total neglect of personal hygiene was too obvious. And he seemed quite clueless. It took me some time to make him understand what I wanted from him. Still looking very confused, he finally took the package and quickly scanned the papers inside - which, by the way, were covered with some completely unintelligible gibberish. Then he looked up. 

This actually made me step back and I could barely suppress a shocked gasp. The change was astonishing. His eyes were now perfectly clear and seemed to be drilling right through my skull. His voice changed too. It sounded very cold now, but also just a tiny bit amused.

What he told me, however, was quite in line with what I had expected. I was accepted into the ranks of the Blades, an elite group of imperial undercover agents, in direct service of the Emperor. And just as I had hoped, he gave me a sizable sum of gold coins and told me that my first task was to establish a plausible local identity. I thanked him several times, and left his house with a feeling of huge relief. The smell had been unbearable, and the piercing gaze of the "real" Caius even more so. 

With this bit of cash, I went back to the guildhall. It was enough for me to learn a few spells and buy some scrolls (intervention scrolls, in fact - I knew they could be an essential element of my survival in this place). And this was when the most amazing thing happened. 

Magic.

I found out that I could really do magic. Even more, when I started to learn some new spells with the help of Estirdalin, I realised that I already had known a few before. The realisation that I am capable of wielding magic, of casting quite real spells that had tangible material impact, was literally elevating. This suddenly made me feel very brave, maybe even too much so. But luckily I did not do anything too stupid. 

I went out of the city gates and tried out my destruction spells on a few scribs near a local egg mine. This worked out splendidly, but also sobered me up a bit. One of the scribs managed to paralyse me before I could get it killed. I could not move for a couple of seconds - but I could still feel the excruciating pain of its bites. Luckily it had not done too much harm before the paralysation wore off and I could finish it off. And then I could fully appreciate what an amazing thing the healing magic is - I managed to heal the wounds with just a single spell. The pain was gone in a moment, and there were no scars on my skin. 

When I came back to the guildhall, I felt a different man. Yes, this world is dangerous, deadly even. But it is also full of wonders, excitement and opportunities. I am looking forward to my next day here.